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Trauma & Complex Trauma Therapy

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When trauma doesn’t look the way people expect…

Not all trauma comes from one event. Complex trauma and emotional neglect can shape anxiety, shame, relationships, and the nervous system.

Not all trauma involves a single catastrophic event. Many people live with the effects of complex trauma, which can develop over time through chronic stress, repeated relational injuries, or childhood emotional neglect—including growing up without consistent emotional attunement, safety, or support.

You might feel like you can’t point to one “big thing,” yet still notice that your nervous system feels on edge, relationships feel hard, or your inner world is shaped by shame, self-doubt, or a persistent sense that something is off.

Trauma responses are not signs of weakness. They are adaptive nervous system responses to experiences that overwhelmed your ability to cope.

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Signs of Trauma or Complex Trauma

  • chronic anxiety, hypervigilance, or feeling “on” all the time

  • emotional numbness, shutdown, or difficulty identifying feelings

  • shame, self-criticism, or self-blame that feels hard to explain

  • feeling unsafe in closeness, or cycling between wanting connection and wanting distance

Trauma and complex trauma can show up in many ways. You might notice:

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  • people-pleasing, perfectionism, or fear of being “too much”

  • difficulty setting boundaries or knowing what you need

  • intrusive memories, body-based reactions, or strong triggers

  • sleep problems, chronic tension, or burnout

Trauma can also coexist with anxiety, OCD, depression, and attachment struggles. Sometimes it’s been missed or misunderstood for years.

Complex Trauma and Childhood Emotional Neglect

Many people with complex trauma grew up in environments where their emotional needs were not consistently met. This doesn’t require overt abuse. Childhood emotional neglect can look like repeated experiences of being minimized, misunderstood, or left alone with big feelings.

From an attachment perspective, as infants and children our nervous systems depend on caregivers for regulation. Even what an adult might consider “small” misattunements—like being told not to cry about a painful social interaction when what you really needed was help naming and managing sadness or rejection—can create nervous system dysregulation when those moments happen frequently enough.

Often the impact isn’t a clear memory. It’s a pattern.

How Early Relationships Shape Adult Relationships

  • “My needs are too much.”

  • “I have to handle things alone.”

  • “Closeness isn’t safe.”

  • “If I’m truly seen, I’ll be rejected.”

Our earliest relationships become the template for what we expect in relationships later in life—often outside of awareness.

When safety, attunement, or repair were inconsistent, people may learn beliefs like:

These aren’t character flaws. They’re adaptations. And they can be understood and changed.